People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
