And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
