Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
