STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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