First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
