i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize