The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
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