Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
