hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
