man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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