It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
and you fell through a lawn chair
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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