i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
