WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
