i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize