Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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