Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
