don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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