I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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