smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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