Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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