Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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