maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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