Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
