The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I touched a dick in church today
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
