Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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