Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
this hospital has no fireball
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
