I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
