Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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