First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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