Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
