Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
