Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize