they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just invented taco cereal.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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