Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
