so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
