During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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