Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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