i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
