Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize