They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
