you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
