so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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