FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
