Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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