so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
