That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
