living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
