yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
