oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
