the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
