Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
