how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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