hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize