I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
