My Higher Power is John Stamos
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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