A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
