Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
