i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
