Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Can vaginas get frostbite?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
