forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
