Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
