No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
