I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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