Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize