Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
