i permit you to call me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
