Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
