Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
