i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
