brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
